Time Strategies

 

(image source: thebalancesmb.com)

 

 Hello, my name is Jennifer and I'm a procrastinator. 

I have a really bad habit of just not wanting to do it. I just don't wanna. I find myself wasting my time, instead of utilizing it. I did just get diagnosed with ADHD, and my psychiatrist said that procrastination is a factor. So with the help of my handy-dandy medication, I'm hoping this semester has more days of productivity, and fewer days just staring at the walls. 

This actually affects my life in every aspect. I put off doing things I enjoy like reading, or playing my guitars because it's just too much effort and I could just day dream instead. I procrasti-clean (is that a word?), which is useful, but my house can only be so clean (I googled it - it is a thing). 

I don't really know why I do this, because it only makes the situation worse. I have the habit of doing assignments last minute. The phrase "I work well under pressure" is a lie, I hate pressure - but I still put it off. It's a vicious circle.

I think the article How Checklists Train Your Brain explains the issue well. The gist of it is our brains have become used to the constant dopamine release we get from doing menial things. It makes me wonder if I actually have ADHD, or I'm just addicted to dopamine. 

Anyway, the article has useful tips for creating and keeping a checklist. I have a monthly calendar I use to keep track of assignments, but I think I will implement a checklist on the side to keep myself on track.

3 Steps to Recapture Time had a great  tip as well - Practice the Art of No. I don't have a difficult time saying no, unless it has to do with my job. I take on more responsibility than I need to - partly because I enjoy my job, but mainly because it looks good on a resume. I put off my school responsibilities to complete more work responsibilities. I have been told by my boss that it is OK to say no, so I'm absolutely going to have to start, because I'm taking 7 classes and most of my time will be focused on that. 

 

 (image source: giphy.com)

Technology

 

(image source: pixabay.com)

I have many of the tech aspects required down. I use PBWorks at my job, so I'm very familiar with how the wiki works. I think the only thing I'm not sure how to do is build a website, so I'm interested to see how that will go. I've built an HTML site for a class, but I don't remember how to do that, so I'm excited to play around with it.

Assignments

 

(image source: learnupon.com)

I'm so excited for this class. I initially took this class because I wanted my final semester to have fun courses - that didn't work out as well as I had wanted, but I feel as though this course will kind of even that out. I've never taken a class that is structured like this, but I'm glad to have a break from traditional class structures (I hate writing essays). I'm most interested in the semester long project, and the microfiction stories. I'm eager to dig in and get started.

Growth Mindset

 

(image source: metrifit.com)

 

 I had never heard of this concept before, and was intrigued by Carol Dwek's TedTalk (love me a good tedtalk). After looking at a lot of images and memes, I see myself leaning toward a fixed mindset. I'm very guilty of thinking "this is good enough," and just turning things in. Usually this happens in classes I really don't enjoy - really anything I don't enjoy.

When I used to take art classes, if we were studying a type of art I didn't enjoy I would "good enough" myself through the entire project.

But when it is something I really enjoy, I am a 'growth mindset' worker. I find when I work on homework or projects at work where I enjoy what I am doing, I put my all into it. For instance - I had to take an SQL coding class which is something I never thought I would be able to do, let alone enjoy. Every project we worked on was so fun to me, and I finished that class with an A. On the flipside, I had to take an R coding class, and I hated every second of it. Squeezed out a very low B.

I think Dwek's ideas are interesting, and agree in a sense. I think challenging oneself is great for growth - it's how you learn and progress in skill. I don't, however, think that applies in all contexts. Dwek mentions giving a group of 10 year olds problems that were too difficult for them. Some responded positively, and others responded with despair (that would be me). 

I think this is a product of our education system. I grew up in the era of No Child Left Behind, and I (and many other students) was failed by this system. I was tested for learning disabilities and put into special education classes because I couldn't keep up with my peers who were able to withstand the "challenging" subject material. It made me really hate school, and I would spend most of class time day dreaming or reading books through lectures. 

My little brother is ten years younger than me, and had a completely different education experience. He was put into gifted classes in second grade. All throughout elementary and middle school he was enrolled in high-level courses. He joined a robotics club, an engineering class. He had many different opportunities that normal or under-performing students do not have. Now as a junior in high school, he has decided he wants to drop out. 

There is an endemic of gifted students suffering from depression, burnout, and academic fatigue. Many high school students in this group are faced with immense amounts of pressure to succeed, compete amongst their peers, and challenge their abilities so that they can get into amazing colleges.

There are many articles discussing this that I'll link below.

Challenging oneself isn't a bad thing - if you want to hone a skill, you'll have to be challenged. The difference is, you aren't being forced into the challenge. Knowing yourself and what you are capable of gives you the confidence to face certain challenges. For example: if I tried to challenge myself to work out a mathematical formula for rocket science, I would end up in tears because I know I can't do it.

That doesn't make me stupid, but my skills are in different areas and I know that for a fact.

The students challenged by Dwek could very well have been in a fixed mindset - or they could have known their capabilities. Not every student is going to respond to a challenge the same way, because not every student learns the same way.

Wow what a wall of text. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

National Association for Gifted Children Article on Depression.

Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals By James T. Webb.

 The Unhappy Intellectually Gifted Child.

Introduction to a Burnout

 

The Fool in tarot represents a free spirit, new beginnings, innocence 

(image source: wikipedia.org)

Today I woke up feeling optimistic. I turned on the television, and watched as President Biden was sworn into office. I ate oatmeal for lunch, and watched as President Biden signed his first executive actions. I got ready for work as the First Family entered the White House for the first time.

I sit here and reflect upon the last year, and every feeling and reaction I've had to the horror and sadness that has impacted every American. At the moment I feel relief.

I feel good going into my final semester as an undergraduate. 

I think back to four years ago to when I was 22. I was working at a daycare, and hating every second of it. I had been applying for jobs for three years at that point, and felt trapped. I had no skills or experience other than childcare. I was enrolled at a community college, and saw that the library was hiring a student aid. I didn't think for a second that I would get the job.

I remember leaving the interview cheesing so hard my cheeks hurt. I went to work at the daycare, and got a callback the same day offering me the job.

Best job I ever had. The reason I decided to become a librarian.

Back in March, I was laid off like many other Americans. I spent a few months in limbo, unable to find work while trying to fast track my graduation date. 

I was fortunate enough to have parents who were able to support me. I know many others can't say the same.

It's hard on the mind to be an unemployed 26 year old living with their parents. My grades started tanking. I lost my health insurance. I felt myself slipping into depression, and I felt there was no way out.

This past year has been hard on everyone. The social injustices, the atrocities against humanity - it felt as though the powder keg that has been the past four years finally exploded. 

I only hope the future is as bright for the world as I think it will be. 

I found work again at a library. I'm able to pay off my school debt. I have a warm home, and a supportive family. There are many good things coming my way, and I pray to the Gods that that's the same for everyone else.

I am a 26 year old burnout. I have two silly cats. I enjoy reading, and playing the guitar. I'm going to graduate with my Bachelor's in Information Studies this Spring, and in the Fall I'm going to start my Master's. I'm on a quest to find happiness and I have a loooot of plans to do just that.

(image source: giphy.com)

Cat Tax:

Shadow (she follows me everywhere)

 

Turkleton (my dad named him don't judge)

Storybook Favorites

 

(Image Source: lsu.edu)

Looking through past blogs of former students, I am impressed by the creativity and writing displayed. There are so many wonderful ideas that I hope to emulate. It was hard to narrow it down to only three blogs, but these three were the ones I found the most interesting.

Fairytale Case Files

This blog immediately caught my attention. It has a Dresden Files kind of feel (without the 'nice guy' vibes I get from Harry Dresden). The story is a somewhat typical noir mystery, with a fairy tale twist. The introduction gives the reader a sense of what to expect. The design of the blog is fitting - it makes me think of black and white mystery films. Overall, I enjoyed reading through this and thought it was an interesting idea. 

 

 Spooky Irish Ghost Stories

When I was a child, I was super into ghost stories. I think most children go through a 'spooky' phase. Around my 11th Christmas, I asked my parents to get me books about ghost stories. They got me a collection of Spooky 50 States and one about haunted European castles. This introduced me to Leap Castle in Ireland which sent me down a rabbit hole of Irish ghost stories.

 All of this is to say, when I saw the title for this blog I was immediately interested. Then, of course, the introduction trapped me with the mention of Leap Castle. The intro gives a short history of the castle, and presents the reader with an idea of what to expect from the rest of the story. The style of the blog is dark and creepy, with spooky pictures of Victorian children and skulls. The stories are told rather well, and I enjoyed the writers take on these ghost stories.

Trapped in a Closet: Again and Again

When I realized what this was, I simultaneously laughed and screamed. The intro gives a clear indication of the authors intention with the stories included. Each story is a retelling of another from the point-of-view of R. Kelly's (in)famous Trapped in the Closet. Bah Gawd I enjoyed these retelling's. I'm assuming this was created before the documentary was released, but it's still hilarious without giving any praise to R. Kelly.

(gif source: giphy.com)

Favorite Places

 I'm not very well traveled, and as such, can't outright say where my favorite places in the world are. There are many places I would love to go: Mexico City, Japan, Germany. Alas, I am a poor college student and can't afford to travel just yet. I tend to just run around in my little circle in Tulsa. There are a lot of cool places to visit in this city. Below is my favorite museum in Tulsa.

Philbrook Museum

I visited the Philbrook for the first time on my 16th birthday. I asked my Dad if he would take me because they were displaying an Egyptian mummy and various other Egyptian artifacts. My Dad and I dig that stuff. The showing was really cool, but what I loved most was the gardens. In the middle of summer, when everything has bloomed, the gardens really come to life. It's quite beautiful. 

They also have a cat.

 

(Source: Philbrook.com)