The Fool in tarot represents a free spirit, new beginnings, innocence
(image source: wikipedia.org)
Today I woke up feeling optimistic. I turned on the television, and watched as President Biden was sworn into office. I ate oatmeal for lunch, and watched as President Biden signed his first executive actions. I got ready for work as the First Family entered the White House for the first time.
I sit here and reflect upon the last year, and every feeling and reaction I've had to the horror and sadness that has impacted every American. At the moment I feel relief.
I feel good going into my final semester as an undergraduate.
I think back to four years ago to when I was 22. I was working at a daycare, and hating every second of it. I had been applying for jobs for three years at that point, and felt trapped. I had no skills or experience other than childcare. I was enrolled at a community college, and saw that the library was hiring a student aid. I didn't think for a second that I would get the job.
I remember leaving the interview cheesing so hard my cheeks hurt. I went to work at the daycare, and got a callback the same day offering me the job.
Best job I ever had. The reason I decided to become a librarian.
Back in March, I was laid off like many other Americans. I spent a few months in limbo, unable to find work while trying to fast track my graduation date.
I was fortunate enough to have parents who were able to support me. I know many others can't say the same.
It's hard on the mind to be an unemployed 26 year old living with their parents. My grades started tanking. I lost my health insurance. I felt myself slipping into depression, and I felt there was no way out.
This past year has been hard on everyone. The social injustices, the atrocities against humanity - it felt as though the powder keg that has been the past four years finally exploded.
I only hope the future is as bright for the world as I think it will be.
I found work again at a library. I'm able to pay off my school debt. I have a warm home, and a supportive family. There are many good things coming my way, and I pray to the Gods that that's the same for everyone else.
I am a 26 year old burnout. I have two silly cats. I enjoy reading, and playing the guitar. I'm going to graduate with my Bachelor's in Information Studies this Spring, and in the Fall I'm going to start my Master's. I'm on a quest to find happiness and I have a loooot of plans to do just that.
(image source: giphy.com)
Cat Tax:
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I left a note on the Indian Epics version, Jennifer, but thought I would add something here relevant to that Tarot deck; the artist who drew the cards, Pamela Colman Smith, wrote one of the first books of Anansi stories in English, and illustrated it with some amazing artwork; I snagged some of her art (public domain, yay!) for this blog: Pamela Colman Smith: Anansi stories and art. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for showing me! I had no idea she had illustrated those. I love india ink illustrations - those in particular remind me a bit of Aubrey Beardsley.
DeleteHey Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand what it's like to be an older undergrad student here at OU. I'm 25 and finally graduate this fall with my first bachelor's. I did the whole switch your major thing a few times, along with some outside internships and even gap semesters. I honestly thought I'd never graduate and I hated hearing from friends and family what my timeline looked like. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing especially given the events we faced as a nation this past year! I'm glad you have an optimistic outlook now, keep it up and have a great semester!
Hey Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteFirst off... Shadow and Turkleton are very cute! My family has two cats, and they follow my mom around everywhere! I also want to say I'm very sorry that the year has taken such a toll on you. I know being an older undergraduate student may make you feel like an outsider, and I can't say I would know exactly what that position feels like. However, I have some crazy respect for you! Keep going strong and keep being you! It sounds like you have found some comfort in your current position, and I have a feeling you will go on to do some great things! You mentioned how you like to play the guitar and that's so cool! I've always wanted to play an instrument! I hope you have an amazing semester, and I can't wait to see the things you WILL accomplish!
Hi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteI like how your introduction had a story component to it as well. It was very captivating! Thank you for sharing your history with us, as I feel like I really got to get a sense of who you are and some things that have impacted you. I am sad to hear that this year has been so hard on you, and I wish I had some miraculous fix for it. But I think your plan to focus on yourself, what you can control, and finding the things of true purpose and that bring unshakable joy is the best thing you can do. If you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out. My email is rachel.t.fisher@ou.edu!
Hello, Jennifer. That's awesome that you're getting a degree after seeing your prospects without it aren't as bright. I've wondered to myself if getting a degree is necessary and if I should try to go out into the real world without one. Luckily for me, my high school jobs showed me I don't want to live that way. The world needs jobs of all kinds, though, and I'm glad everyone has a role. Good luck with being a librarian!
ReplyDeleteHello, Jennifer! I am happy that you decided to get your degree, it will probably be one of life's best decisions looking back 50 years from now. These past four years have indeed been tough, I'm glad everything will settle down into the rhythm we have always had before. Your cats are really cute, I wish I found a nice cat over the years. The ones I have gotten have all been quite terrible.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm back. Maybe someday you can have a book of your own in whatever library you work in. I have had a desire to write a book before, but I've never thought about what it would be like to have a book in a library. The idea of someone reading your work after you're long gone is a cool one.
ReplyDeleteHello Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am proud of the fact that you are coming back to school to get your degree and possibly your Master's. I believe that any of us are capable of doing anything when we believe and strive toward our goals. I am sorry to hear about your struggles as I too have experienced somewhat of similar situations. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always reach out to me! I was once a librarian myself!
Hi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am a year behind everybody my age and planned to take a gap year so I will be extra behind. I kind of relate to where you are and honestly age doesn't matter as long as you move forward with your plan. I'm proud of you to move forward and planning to get a Master's. I love animals and I appreciated that you post pics of your cats. They're adorable!
HI Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI think you do not give yourself enough credit. It is incredibly impressive that you have persevered through all of the challenges that life threw your way. This pandemic has been incredibly taxing on so many people and seeing that there is hope ahead and hopefully under our new president change will be made in a positive way. I am incredibly blessed to have voted for change, and I am excited for Biden to continue to pass beneficial legislature that will hopefully impact all of us in a positive way. You seem to have an incredible support system behind you, especially your lovely cats. I am taking a gap year before starting law school because I feel so exhausted and incapable of starting a new chapter of my life after all of this. Keep powering ahead, you will do great things!
Hi Jennifer! I really enjoyed reading your introduction and I hope you are having a great semester so far! I was a library aide in high school and I honestly loved it. It is so great that you found your passion and pursued it. I hope that 2021 is better for us all. Good luck with your masters!
ReplyDeleteHi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how your introduction read like a story. I am so sorry that you lost your job ion March, I know how stressful that must have been. I am happy to hear that you were able to get another job at a library. I can see how passionate you are about it, and I can imagine how nice it would be to have a job surrounded by books. I wish you the best of luck finding that happiness, it can be so hidden sometimes. Your cats are precious!
Hi Jennifer, I enjoyed reading your introduction! It sounds like the last couple of years have been difficult, but I am glad that you have at least found a little bit of happiness. I’m glad that you found a job that you enjoyed throughout your job as librarian. I hope that you end the semester off strong and good luck on getting your masters.
ReplyDeleteHi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI love the cats, especially Turkleton. I love giving my cats silly names. I did not mention them in my intro, but Smokey and Peppercorn (my cats) each had a sibling that has unfortunately passed away (well, one disappeared, and we found the body later, and the other died from a black widow spider bite). Anyways, I named all of my cats except Smokey (I wanted to name her Socks). My cat names were Luna (named after a previous cat I named Lunatic), Tormundous, and Peppercorn.
Hi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteI'd be lying if I said I did not enjoy reading your introduction because I really enjoyed the way you told it like a story. I am quiet sorry to hear about your difficult years and I am very happy to hear that you have the job that you are enjoying. Times are tough in our country right now and I am proud of everyone including yourself for getting through it, or at least having the courage to. I wish you all the best rest of the semester!
Hi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story with us and I am glad you are on your path to find happiness! Congratulations on graduating this spring, I know it's rough during COVID but you're reaching a big milestone in your life. Do you have any plans this summer before you head into your Master's? Your cats are very cute! I love playing with cats but I'm mildly allergic so it's a hassle sometimes.
Hi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteWorking as a student aid can definitely be fun. It's great to work in a job that you love it really helps to keep your mood high. I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties that you faced during this pandemic and I'm glad for those of us that are able to find work while the lockdown limits our interactions. I hope you've had a great semester so far and that you are able to fulfill your desire to become a librarian.
Hi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteThe people who go to school later in the life always end up being more successful. My own mother didn't attend college until she was in her thirties and I was a teen, so I could help take care of my younger sister. I'm glad you found something you're really interested in too! Being passionate helps us to keep going and we definitely need more passionate librarians. Growing up, the librarians at my school and local libraries helped to foster my interest in reading. Unfortunately, with work and school I don't have as much time to read nowadays, but it's always comforting to sit down with a good book. Congrats on graduating and good luck with your Master's!
Hey Jennifer! You got this! I'm sorry to hear of all your hardships. It couldn't have been easy, and I'm glad to hear that things are looking brighter for you. The library is such a safe, happy place. I can see why you love it so much. Life has so many ups and downs, and I'm happy that the downs didn't keep you down. You're only 26, and you still have so much ahead of you! You got this! Live the life you want. A bit of a rusty patch, that's all. Good luck to everything you want to do in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteIt’s me again. I forgot to ask on the first comment, but are you interested in tarot? I saw the picture of the fool card, and it made me wonder. Personally, I see them as a good tool for guided introspection, a way to look at your circumstances differently. I would love to hear your thoughts on them.
Hi Arthur,
DeleteI am absolutely interested in tarot! I don't necessarily believe that they're magical glimpses into the future, but I agree that they're great introspection tools. I have two decks right now — the original smith-waite, and uusi's Pagan Otherworlds. The art on PO is so amazing, so I saved up to buy it. I could talk all day about tarot, I really enjoy it!
Hi Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteThis year has been hard for everyone. I am sorry that you lost your job—I also got laid off because of the pandemic. I have three dogs, one of whom is named Shadow. The other two are Echo and Persephone, although we call her Seph. I am also going to start my Masters in the fall. I hope the world’s future is bright as well. I wish you all the happiness in the world.